Of Idiots and Sentimental Fanatics: Introduction

Go home and listen to Nina Simone

Go home and listen to Nina Simone

I am Nigel.

I live a complicated life. It is grouped according to specific classifications and codes to guide my decision making. I will be a very miserable old man if i end up with alzheimer’s. However, i love life and live it fully; often a little over the top. Like the time i decided it was a good idea to have my pictures taken while i sat naked in the tub after a Playstation gaming marathon.

I get worried for my children when i do these things.

I have decided to share my story with you because quite frankly i need to tell someone. I need to spill it all. I have been a terrible person to some and a complete sweetheart to others. However it is the lives of the people in mine that will intrigue you.

They have the most intriguing stories.

Some are complete idiots. Like, IDIOTIC, in the proper and actual sense of the word. Some of absolute sweethearts. Others are bugs that must be squashed for eternity and have their body’s cut up in pieces and spread across the world.

Sorry about that. I hate those people.

I have siblings. I struggle to understand them. Heck i am still trying to understand myself so don’t judge. There is a younger brother by name Kelvin and an older sister called Trisha. I think Kelvin is gay but i have no evidence. My parents will freak out if he comes out. My sister is a terrorist. Not like the suicide ones though. She is hell on earth in the sibling sort of way. You know those ones right.

I am sure you have one of your own.

My parents are truly conservative. They are the church-every-Sunday-morning, midweek-service, no smoking or sex or kissing or anything else before marriage- kind. I have caught them having sex before though but then again, they are married so fair game. We seldom have anything to talk about and yet we seem to find things to say to each other.

It gets weird… a lot.

I have only a few friends. Even they, wonder what the heck is wrong with me a lot of the time. They say i am the life of the party. I don’t see it. I mean, what is the point of going to a party and standing in the shadows with a drink in hand. Are you a shadow? And please don’t give me that different people have different personalities nonsense. That is just rubbish. IT IS A PARTY! If you do not grasp the fundamental concept of what that event is all about, you are not supposed to be there.

Go home, take a shower, and listen to Nina Simone.

I have no idea what i want to do with my life. I initially wanted to be a musician. I could sing. I realised soon enough that what i did was not singing. Then came the lawyer phase. If that is what i wanted to do with my life, everything i did was anti that dream. I soon realised that sticking with computers was my only route. I love the damn things and they seem easy enough to do so why the heck not.

I work in a computer shop with a fatso for a boss. His name is Mike.

I have been in several relationships. When i say several, i mean six (i think). They have all ended the same way.

“Grow up”.

That is what i am doing now.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s